Edelweiss; Dark Science, part one: the Bits that didn't make the Book

The Edelweiss bin... a free photo the photographer gave me...

SPOILER ALERT

So I am currently huddled up on my sofa choked with the cold and unable to think straight. I have so many blog posts that I want to get through, but this is about all I feel up to today. I will get back to normal thought processes soon I promise... nobody needs to switch me off and back on again.

Anyway, I wrote Edelweiss so many times that there are all sorts of things I had to cut out from the novel. The end product had so much squashed into it that I wanted to expand that I often get confused over which parts made it and which didn't, and then I need to go back and check. So let's start...

...One of the most minor changes I made was in the names. Stephen Lawrence was originally named Paul Thomas Damas but I stole his last name for another character and re-thought. He just seemed more like a Stephen than a Paul; and definitely a Stephen with a 'PH'. Imagine how different it would have read if Stephen wasn't Stephen? That change still torments me sometimes. Should he have been Paul? I guess now we will never know...

Poor Samuel and Isabel were always going to die. It was set in stone the moment I started writing. I rewrote that first scene so many times I lost count but they always died. Abigail always got lost in the woods and the Shadow Man always paid a visit. I struggled to get the words he says when he first appears correct but finally settled on something suitably creepy. He was always going to be the main bad guy, I just never expected he would be so much fun to write.

A Map of the Islands, by Kirsty Anderson, Illustrator

The next big change was in fleeing for Ronton Bay. The first time around I had them on horseback but I had so many problems getting the timing to line up. If they were on horseback George Dickson would have caught them without argument. I appeased the timeline by having Greer sneak away to catch Stephen in the night only to disguise Abigail as a boy and take refuge in Oran Grime's inn.On the rewrite I considered it would be much easier if they just took a rowing boat. It was a lot less complicated and saved time - but we missed out on Oran Grimes, whose character I adored. You will find his name dotted throughout the series because I couldn't bare to part with him completely.

Anyway, after they reached Ronton took so much working out. I originally had the hunters chase them down only to be massacred by the man with no name. Then I had Echan hunt them back to Catherine to save their lives for later. Poor Illion initially died in the woods - but even then, the assassin placed his sword into his hands after the deed was done. It was Siara witnessing this event that sent her to find Stephen in the first draft. All this changed because I initially wrote Siara as Greer's role then hated her guts. I couldn't give Abigail a co-parent that I hated so I had to invent a new character. Thus Greer was born and Siara got relegated to traitor status...

Asa was always a destination. Where Asa lived changed a fair amount. Porta was convenient because it was right next to Estora and I knew they would have to go there at some point. I also knew I could get away with the 'alpine' feel better in the islands than I would on a continent and keeping them in the islands was a good way to keep Echan and Talphibious on the periphery.

the cover image we settled on

The next part I really wish I hadn't changed was the first time Liandor met the group. In the first draft he successfully saved Abigail's life only for Greer to come bounding from the undergrowth and tear his throat out. Again, Liandor was pretty cool to write and that saved his life. It also prevented a war with the druids which was the opposite of where I wanted to go. Liandor turned into her best friend instead and, in my opinion, the poor wood elf would be better off dead than seeking Abigail as a love interest.

Earlier drafts didn't have blood magic, nor did they have Cobol, who I find exceptional and love to write scenes for. In the first draft the whole group plus Liandor went to Estora by invitation. Lorne didn't exist yet and Aaron was a lot nastier than Marcus was. Abigail always found out the truth in the end and fed him the serum - but it was a lot more convoluted to get there. Besides anything else Amber, Cobol and the others weren't even conceptualised yet and the whole last third of the book was messy and stressful.

 Introducing the use of Blood Magic and the whole "Abigail on the bucket" scene was a happy accident that happened after windows 10 swallowed earlier drafts. It meant that I was able to get her to Estora without anyone else being in danger for at least a few days. Realistically, without Cobol they would have died as soon as they set foot on the island. Cobol gave me an in to get her back out, a little smarter than she was when she went in there.

The last major change I made was in the way the war started. Originally it spilled from the Temple and chased them off the island but that didn't flow well. It meant I was starting something at the end of the book and it was unsettling. Granted you wanted to know what happened next but it wasn't a satisfying ending. Instead, I cut it to Abigail and the all-important healing potions and added Aaron's warning. The reader knows he's serious but naturally she hates his guts by this point... sort of. I do so love the complexity of their relationship.

Anyway. I need to wrap myself in a duvet and a housecoat and drink hot lemon and honey. I hope you have enjoyed this little glimpse into how editing changes storylines over time - and into how windows have swallowed more creativity than a good book burning - but that's a subject for another time.

Writing a Novel: Character Building (not in the fun way)

This week I want to talk a bit more about character because it seems like a natural next step from the planning blog I wrote last week. Planning can be broken down into all sorts of little stages to stop you losing the will to live before you have even set pen to paper; but for our purposes let's try and organise it a little....

...So you know you want to write a book. You either have a character you already love or you have a rough plot and no idea how to tell the story. This blog will be aimed at the latter group - the plot thinkers - but there might be some take-aways for us character types too.

Characters are Difficult

They're difficult because it is in their nature... because one way or another, a character is always in need of some new adventure to propel them along. Let's face it, nobody wants to read about Bilbo Baggins not going to find the rings and staying at home to have tea and second breakfast, instead. So the character and plot are inexorably linked. If your character isn't right (and trust me on this) you will end up with a totally different story from what you began with. They can have a mind all of their very own... but that's OK, they're supposed to.

Keeping it Real

OK, character pointer number one is to start with a personality. Don't think about names or descriptions just yet. Think about the type of person you would need to be in order to carry out the overarching plot. That's the personality you want. Everything else you add is just chocolate sprinkles.

So if you have a bus full of schoolkids that need saving the alcoholic bus driver might not pull it together in time; but the former firefighter on his way out of town might. There is another little trick that most stories use to build empathy with the main character: they are told that they are the only one who can save the bus full of kids/the earth/the Universe and they refuse the call. Either through self doubt or simply to make them more endearing to us. This is a natural part of 'the hero's journey' and I will go into more detail on that in a later blog.

At the moment let's consider that the character we are trying to develop - be it male, female, alien or talking horse - needs to be real. It doesn't matter if you have dropped them into a fantastical universe or if they themselves are supreme magical beings - they need to have thoughts, feelings, emotions and back-stories just like every other real person you ever met in your life. If they are not real (at least to you) then they aren't worth writing about... and that's the sad truth.

Increasing Levels of Realness

There are loads of little ways to make your characters more real. Just loads. How do you learn about them? Go and sit in a cafe somewhere busy, buy a coffee and watch. A train station is best, or an airport. People rushing tend to reveal all sorts of little personality traits about themselves. Just people watch and see what you notice. Some drag children behind them while others laugh and giggle with their kids. Some fumble and spill their shopping bags, are never organised or trip over themselves. Some have been sleeping on the train and rub their eyes, others hurry to smoke. At the end of your trip to the cafe you should have a whole page full of little personality traits that you can use for your own future reference.

One little tip on personality traits... consistency is important. Don't forget to include a trait because plot has picked up. Keep them going throughout and make them believable.

Another trick is to write a whole short story in itself all about your character. You might never include any of this information in the book but it helps you establish what their motivations are. For example, a character who had formerly lost a child might be reluctant to adopt a child or have a child thrust into their care, which could create friction in a story set around orphaned children. Knowing little facts about your character's background helps you to explain how they react to your plot points, and also helps you develop those reactions in the first place!

Once you have a well rounded, fully developed character on the page before you a name will come. Don't start with a name and shape a character... that's not how we name people in real life, is it?

One Last Thing...

... Not that I condone stealing but a pro author is basically a pro thief. That's not to say we go around ripping off one another's work (at least not deliberately, at least I hope not...) but rather that if there is an interesting personality quirk in your possession we will steal it. We will steal the fact that you constantly push your glasses up your nose and we might even steal the fact that you have had them re-shaped twice now but it's done no good. We will steal your history, your back story, your tales of woe and tales of joy. It's what we do, it's why we were once known as 'bards' and it's what you need to do to create successful, believable and real characters.

So go out there and pinch mannerisms, steal personality's and immortalise the many weird and wonderful quirks that human beings have. Copy your friend's thought patterns, or steal your partners ability to start a fight in an empty room - thieve it all and revel in it... because all of it will go towards creating the best character you ever wrote.

Just remember to change the names. People don't take kindly when you start killing them off...

Writing Edelweiss; Dark Science, part one.

So the time has come for the obligatory "this is how I wrote my first book" blog post. I apologise in advance to those who show up for the funny stuff, I'll try to make sure it isn't a dry read.

The Final Cover Image, courtesy of Craig Anderson Photography

Edelweiss started as a character: Dr Abigail Jones (who was never a real Doctor, just a healer in disguise). This was a character I developed to play in a Live Action Role Play and was probably the first character that I went to bed and dreamed about. She was very real to me. To this day I have other Larpers to thank for some of the characters... Rufus Frank, who you meet in Valerian, Captain Charles Echan, Mister Talphibious and Asa Lupine were all based on real people; Talphibious and Frank only loosely.

The setting is completely different to the LARP world I played, albeit with similarities. The original Abigail Jones was a member of the Temple of Shadows (ironically the good guys) so her path was never going to be easy. The story developed with her as a starting point but, as she was only a girl, I needed a caretaker who was loyal and who could remind her of where she came from when her ideas got too big for her boots. Stephen Lawrence was born as Paul Thomas Damas, a name I changed in later drafts for reasons that won't become clear until you read the second and third books.

My main protagonist was always going to be a dual threat of Catherine and the mystery murderer we meet in the prologue.What I didn't expect was for those two characters to take on their own stories throughout the series. It has been just as interesting for me to find out what they have been up to as it is for the reader. The trouble with writing character-driven stories is that sometimes they change the plot for themselves because of their attitudes and abilities. Abigail is particularly hard to write because she is always off doing her own thing. She needs a big group around her so that she can be constantly reigned back in. Usually for her own good. If she didn't have Stephen she would have marched straight from Beeton to Estora and got herself killed in chapter 2. So.

An alternative image, courtesy of Craig Anderson Photography

People often ask how I go about the process of writing and it is very simple. I sit down at a blank screen and I tell the stories that I would like to read. There isn't enough dark, nearly-horror-but-not-quite fantasy out there. When I have come across it (mentioning no names) I have found it a little flowery and hard to read in places. I think my style is very simple but I believe that simple can be more shocking at times. I guess all writing is subjective and it just comes down to what you like.

As for planning well, I started with the prologue as a back story for Abigail and just couldn't stop telling the story. I had to get her out of there so I did. Then I had to get her to Ronton Bay, so I did. After that things just kind of took care of themselves. I knew at some point Asa would come into play and that later she would get to the root of the problem - but in terms of planning that was about it. What I will say is that I worked on Edelweiss; Dark Science, part one for eight years before I put it into a real format and edited out the parts I didn't like. In the future I will post about some of these, though it will contain spoilers, so not yet...

There's no better feeling than holding the hard copy!

So during that eight years I hand wrote it, re-wrote it, typed it up, lost it to a computer error, typed it up again and then decided to commit myself and publish. Stories constantly evolve and change and even now, two and a half books later, I still have a hazy memory of what went into the final cut and what I left out. I spend a huge amount of editing time checking back on old details to make sure I have people's eye colour just right, or their back stories on point... I did keep a compendium of all the details but it changed so much between drafts it became useless.



Writing a book is time consuming, it is hard, it is confusing and it takes a lot of imagination. Then when you do produce work you imagine it isn't good enough to be read by anyone and that you should probably take it down. Nevertheless we persist, because stories need to be told and that's just how it is.

And now I have Edelweiss. Go check it out. At the very least it will give you a glimpse into my world.

Editing because I realised I didn't put a link to the book in so here we are: you can buy a copy of Edelweiss; Dark Science, part one (in either paperback or E-book) by following this link.